“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult task of all tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation… so we must not forget, when we love, that we are beginners, bunglers of life, apprentices in love and must learn love…”

— Rainer Maria Rilke

My couples therapy work is in service to your relationship

Couples counselling can be a daunting prospect. You may well be anxious about talking about your issues in front of your partner as well as hearing your partner's concerns. But it can in fact be a relief to take the first steps and actually feel heard by each other and hear each other within the safe space provided by a counsellor.

Why seek couples counselling? Whether you have serious concerns about your relationship or you just need to look at a few issues, couples counselling can provide a non-judgemental environment where you can begin to address your specific needs for your relationship and learn ways to communicate better with each other. If you want to commit to the process and are willing to make changes you can learn the the tools to create a healthy, loving and communicative relationship.

There is no such thing as a 'normal' relationship. Every relationship is unique and all relationships need to be worked at in order to be successful. Your relationship consists of two individuals, each of you bringing your history, your past relationships, your family backgrounds, the ups and downs of your current lives and your hopes for the future. So it's no wonder that things get difficult between you.

When things aren't going well we often blame our partner. We can feel hurt, angry and scared. The presence of an impartial and non-judgemental counsellor can help you to explore what is happening between you and help you to create a stronger relationship.

Some of the sorts of issues that I work on with couples:

DIFFICULTIES WITH COMMUNICATION - This can include not having the right tools to meet each others needs, repetitive arguments, difficulty finding compromise, escalating arguments, difficulty negotiating differences of opinion, withdrawal, clashes of opinion, feeling unheard.

PARENTING - This can include difference of opinion about how the children should be brought up, the everyday struggles of juggling work, life and children, becoming new parents, differences of opinion about the grandparents.

SEX LIFE AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - This can include concerns around fertility issues, differences about libido, lack of desire, difficulty having sexual intercourse, trust.

HEALTH ISSUES - Changes in either physical or mental health.

EXPLORING SEPARATION AND DIVORCE AS OPTIONS - With hard work and commitment it is possible to have a 'good' separation or divorce and avoid bitterness, acrimony and resentment. Couples therapy can help you if this is your goal.

RELATIONSHIP COACHING - This might be pre-marriage, pre-cohabitation or even pre-parenthood to iron out a few small issues that you have or to help you explore what you both want and need from your relationship as well as learning some good, supportive relationship habits and tools.

How to Tell if Couples Counselling Could Help You:

Sometimes couples seek counselling because issues in the relationship have come to a head and they are struggling to find a way forward. But your relationship doesn't have to be in crisis for you to seek couples counselling. You may simply feel that something isn’t quite right between you or that you’re having difficulty talking things through together.

I can work with you to develop your relationship, increase your awareness of yourselves as a couple and support your use of tools to communicate more effectively with each other. You are welcome to call me in confidence to discuss whether relationship counselling might be an option for you.

Some of the Reasons Why Couples Seek Counselling:

  • Anger and frustration
  • Difficulties with intimacy
  • Communication difficulties
  • Commitment issues
  • Family problems
  • Fertility issues
  • Ambivalence or anxieties around starting a family
  • Life changes
  • Work or financial stresses
  • Infidelity
  • Affairs
  • Addictions
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Life crisis or trauma
  • Childhood issues
  • Anxiety/Depression
  • Jealousy
  • Separation and divorce

Couples Counselling Can Help Your Separation or Divorce

Couples counselling be useful for couples who are separating or divorcing. If you wish to improve your communication, perhaps for the sake or your children or for other reasons, then it may be an option for you. It is not the same as Mediation which can help you to settle disputes over contact and living arrangements, child maintenance, property, money and so on. However, it can pave the way to a smoother separation by helping you to let go of the resentment, hurt and anger you may feel towards each other.

How Do We Work Together?

The initial assessment is 75 minutes long and the purpose is for us to explore what has brought you to couples therapy. The assessment enables me to think about how I can best help you with your relationship. If we agree that ongoing couples therapy is appropriate to your situation I will offer you a weekly 50-minute session.

How we continue to work together and the number of sessions will be discussed as part of the initial assessment, taking into account my professional opinion as well as your wishes.

In the sessions we will explore your issues, patterns of behaviour, backgrounds and what you want from your relationship and your vision for the future. Together, we will address the source of the problems in your relationship as well as looking at tools and techniques to improve your communication. I may also ask you to complete 'homework' between sessions to help the process.

What Does it Cost?

50-minute sessions: £120 per session

75-minute sessions: £180 per session

Initial assessment of 75 minutes - £180

Longer sessions can be agreed after the initial assessment.

You can contact me by phone or email to arrange an initial session so that we can consider whether relationship counselling is the best option for you. You are welcome to come to see me individually or as a couple to talk to me about your situation. Like our sessions, all calls and emails are confidential.

I work with couples of all sexual orientations, backgrounds and marital status.

“It takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love.”

— Oscar Wilde

What Happens Next?

If you are unsure whether therapy is right for you then the best thing to do is to come for an initial assessment to get a sense of what it feels like to talk to me. During that session we can discuss together whether I am the right person for your needs.

If you would feel more comfortable speaking to me on the phone before arranging a session then you are welcome to call me on 07966 396199 or email me to arrange a brief telephone conversation to talk through your concerns.

©2022 Philippa Robinson

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