“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult task of all tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation… so we must not forget, when we love, that we are beginners, bunglers of life, apprentices in love and must learn love…”

— Rainer Maria Rilke


Couples counselling can be a daunting prospect, so well done getting as far as looking at this page. You may well be anxious about talking about your issues in front of your partner as well as hearing your partner's concerns. But it can in fact be a relief to take the first steps and actually feel heard by each other and hear each other within the safe space provided by a counsellor.

Why Seek Couples Counselling? Whether you have serious worries about your relationship or you just need to look at a few issues, couples counselling can provide a non-judgemental environment where you can begin to address your specific needs for your relationship and learn ways to communicate better with each other. If you want to commit to the process and are willing to make changes then you can learn the the tools to create a healthy, loving and communicative relationship.

Don’t Feel Ashamed to Seek Help

There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Every relationship is unique and all relationships need to be worked at in order to be successful. Your relationship consists of two individuals, each of you bringing your history, your past relationships, your family backgrounds, the ups and downs of your current lives and your hopes for the future. So it's no wonder that things get difficult between you.

When things aren't going well we often blame our partner or ourselves - or both. We can feel hurt, angry and scared. When that happens, we sometimes feel too ashamed to seek help. But in fact, the presence of an impartial and non-judgemental counsellor can help you to explore what is happening between you and help you to create a stronger relationship.

How to Tell if Couples Counselling Could Help You:

Sometimes couples seek counselling because issues in the relationship have come to a head and they are struggling to find a way forward. But your relationship doesn't have to be in crisis for you to seek couples counselling. You may simply feel that something isn’t quite right between you or that you’re having difficulty talking things through together.

I can work with you to develop your relationship, increase your awareness of yourselves as a couple and support your use of tools to communicate more effectively with each other. You are welcome to call me in confidence to discuss whether relationship counselling might be an option for you.

Some of the Reasons Why Couples Seek Counselling:

  • Anger and frustration
  • Difficulties with intimacy
  • Communication difficulties
  • Commitment issues
  • Family problems
  • Fertility issues
  • Ambivalence or anxieties around starting a family
  • Life changes
  • Work or financial stresses
  • Infidelity
  • Affairs
  • Addictions
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Life crisis or trauma
  • Childhood issues
  • Anxiety/Depression
  • Jealousy
  • Separation and divorce

Couples Counselling Can Help Your Separation or Divorce

Couples counselling be useful for couples who are separating or divorcing. If you wish to improve your communication, perhaps for the sake or your children or for other reasons, then it may be an option for you. It is not the same as Mediation which can help you to settle disputes over contact and living arrangements, child maintenance, property, money and so on. However, it can pave the way to a smoother separation by helping you to let go of the resentment, hurt and anger you may feel towards each other.

How Do We Work Together?

The initial assessment is 75 minutes in duration in order to give you sufficient time to talk to me about your problems and to enable me to have time to assess how I can best help you with your relationship. If we agree that ongoing counselling is appropriate to your situation we will agree a regular time to meet.

How we continue to work together and the number of sessions will be discussed as part of the initial assessment, taking into account my professional judgement as well as what is manageable for you. Generally, sessions are either 60 minutes, 75 minutes or 90 minutes and are usually held weekly. In some exceptional circumstances we may agree to fortnightly sessions but this will usually depend on evidence of your commitment to working on your relationship between sessions.

In the sessions we will explore what you want from your relationship and your vision for the future. Together, we will address the source of the problems in your relationship as well as looking at ways and techniques to improve your communication. If appropriate, I may also ask you to complete 'homework' between sessions to help the process.

What Does it Cost?

50 minute sessions: £110 per session

75 minute sessions: £165 per session

Initial assessment of 75 minutes - £165

Longer sessions can be agreed after the initial assessment.

You can contact me by phone or email to arrange an initial session so that we can consider whether relationship counselling is the best option for you. You are welcome to come to see me individually or as a couple to talk to me about your situation. Like our sessions, all calls and emails are confidential.

I work with couples of all sexual orientations, backgrounds and marital status.

“It takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love.”

— Oscar Wilde

What Happens Next?

Counselling offers a space for you to talk about your thoughts and feelings in an environment where you will not be judged and where you may find yourself able to talk more freely and perhaps discuss and explore things in a way that might not be possible with your friends and family.

But taking the first steps to see a therapist can be daunting and confusing. Even though you are searching for a counsellor right now you may still find yourself wondering whether therapy is right for you.

If you are unsure then the best thing to do is to come for an initial session (75 minutes) to get a sense of what it feels like to talk to me. During that session we can discuss together whether I am the right person for your needs.

If you would feel more comfortable speaking to me on the phone before arranging a session then you are welcome to call me on 07966 396199 or email me to arrange a brief telephone conversation to talk through your concerns.

©2022 Philippa Robinson

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